Giving Thanks for the Opportunity to Share a Message of Hope and Resilience with Trauma Survivors

Something I’m thankful for: my writing partner and the book we wrote together. I’m sharing the cover with you. It’s the first time it’s been posted publicly.
My co-author, Matt, and I really like this cover because of the light coming into the group therapy circle: providing the light of hope in the face of the indescribable darkness that is being “stuck” in mental illness and desperation.

I think it was spring of 2016 that Matt Jaremko and I discussed writing a book to help trauma survivors. It took us a bit to find our writing groove in terms of both how we could best communicate what we wanted to say that would extend hope and model the power of resilience for traumatized people, AND for us to find the most efficient way for us to write together without becoming frustrated…we initially tried using Google Docs, and, never having co-written with anyone else, I didn’t realize we couldn’t be in the document at the same time. So I was working and Matt was, too, and the page was jumping all over the place…it was not fun. So we dispensed with that pretty quickly and moved to Word and Track Changes, which is the industry standard for working with editors.
Once we found our way to work together by exchanging the manuscript (“The book is now in your hands. I will not touch it until you send the manuscript back to me”), our book began to take shape in a meaningful, rewarding way. Matt and I have such a strong respect for each others’ strengths and abilities. He is, without a doubt, one of the two smartest, most compassionate and caring men I know, with the other being my husband, Daniel. Not coincidentally, these 2 men also comprised my primary support system when I was broken.

I rank our book, “Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt–Narratives of Hope and Resilience for Victims With PTSD,” as one of my “heart” books. What this means, for you non-writer types, is that this book is one of the most personally meaningful to me. It is defining. It IS to come full circle. While I love all 4 of the YA fiction novels I’ve written, 3 of them: Courage in Patience, Hope in Patience, and Truth in Patience, are the most precious to me because I wrote them while in recovery when I was working with Matt Jaremko, many years ago. They are the arc of Ashley, a teen girl who is entering recovery after being abused by her stepdad and neglected by her mom through deliberate indifference. Ashley’s biggest hurdle is facing the truth about her life–about her worth as a person, in spite of being discarded by the person who should have loved her most. She is removed from her stepdad & mom’s home & placed with her father, David, who she does not know at all.
Ashley is a frightened victim at the outset, a person beginning to realize her value in the middle, and a strong survivor capable of advocating for herself at the conclusion. That’s why the books are called Courage (1), Hope (2), and Truth (3). They are set in the small E. Texas town of Patience, and the girl’s therapist is Scott “Dr. Matt” Matthews. Guess who he’s modeled after?

When Matt and I decided to take 2 of my characters–Ashley and Dr. Matt– and place them in a group setting in order to facilitate the combination of fiction and teaching about resilience, we took Ashley, aged her from 15/16 to 19, and made her a member of Dr. Matt’s Thursday evening Therapy Group for Victims, Survivors, and Righteously Indignant Angry Folks. Then we imagined the other members:
Hunter, age 32, who woke on the ground in the dark after a rain-wrapped tornado destroyed his mobile home, critically injuring his toddler daughter;
Felicia, age 34, who, at age 14, was nearly raped by her brother’s friend; 20 years later, she is still haunted by it, but needs to come to realize an even darker truth about her youth;
Ben, age 20, who saw combat horrors in the Middle East and returned home a fundamentally different person;
Patty, age 47, who lost control of her car, with her husband being killed when they hit a semi-truck;
Jake, age 30, an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) who responded to a hate crime-shooting at a local church’s Wednesday night prayer service. The son of a preacher, Jake lost his faith as a result of what he saw.
Darrell, age 35, who served time in prison for armed robbery. When he was released, he entered therapy to seek solutions for the frequent rages that overtook his decision-making abilities. Through his work with Dr. Matt, Darrell learned new ways of interacting with others. He joined the Black Lives Matter movement and discovered his passion for making a difference through teaching young African-Americans about non-violent protest.
Betty, age 40. Her family-of-origin abandoned her when she began coming to terms with the sexual abuse perpetrated on her from a young age. Betty worked with Dr. Matt and gradually found the strength to rebuild her life. She entered college as a non-traditional student and became a bilingual education teacher, where she puts her native Spanish to work.

We wrapped our manuscript in July, began seeking a publisher in late summer, and by October–and this is remarkably fast to find a publishing “home”–we were offered a publishing contract with a “Mind-Body-Soul” imprint, Ayni Books, and our book will come out in late spring/early summer 2018. The book will have international distribution and be available in both print and e-book.

We began sharing the manuscript with others, asking for blurbs, and we were blown out of the water by what our readers said. Check ’em out.

We invite you to read the Prologue: The Internal Dialogue of a New Patient Being Sick and Tired of Being Afraid and Stuck.

I wrote this Prologue from the memory of where I was when I entered treatment to recover from Childhood Sexual Abuse. At that time, I was 38 years old, the mother of 3 teen girls, and I broke. I could no longer pretend that the stuff I’d gone through as a child and young adult, and in many ways continued to endure as an adult, were not killing me. The pretending was killing me. I was slowly killing myself through binge eating. Efforts to deal with the never-ending anxiety I lived with night and day were futile. Prior to working with Matt, I never stuck with therapy once I was nudged toward being authentic and honest with myself and others about how broken I was. I “clicked” with him and, after Daniel, Matt is the first man I ever truly trusted. Until that time, my understanding of men was that they would abuse me once I began to let my guard down.

This prologue is thoughts of the person prior to entering a therapist’s building when the choice at that time is either get better or die. These are exactly what it was like to be in my head at that time.
Facing the truth about one’s life is a soul-searing experience. For me, the journey to REAL, and WHOLE, was much like the process of birthing a child. It was exhausting, but without a doubt, learning to be resilient and authentic was the most gratifying experience of my life.
This is what we hope will be the result for those who read our book.

Please help us spread the word about our Facebook page. “Like”/”Follow” us, and you won’t miss out on the journey.

Please follow and like us:

Perseverence + Resilience + Patience = Hope for Recovery

The PTSD symptoms I had were so overwhelming that at times I thought I was losing my mind. I’m not even kidding–and if you ever meet my husband, or my children, who were teens at the time, ask them what Mama was like back then. I’m sure some of their stories would blow your hair back. I’ll never forget when I was in a really bad way and actually got behind my clothes in my closet, like I used to do when I was a child, to hide from my stepfather. My husband, Daniel, stepped in, leaned down, and said softly, “I seeeee youuuuuu…” but didn’t judge me harshly or make fun of me. It’s one of the reasons I love him more than words could ever adequately describe.

Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt helps people like me –like I was at that time–understand what happens when someone experiences trauma, and I love its message that sufferers are NOT crazy or weak: they are incredibly strong for continuing to put one foot in front of the other, even while enduring some very scary shit inside their heads. It’s compassionate, speaks to readers where they are–like Daniel that evening when I was a hot mess, and we let readers know, again and again, that HOPE is possible, and RECOVERY is possible, and we shine that all-important light when it’s so easy for survivors to get lost in the nooks & crannies of their minds. We strongly suggest that readers work with a therapist as they process their trauma, because recovery from PTSD is scary.

Nearly a decade ago, Matt taught me HOW to be resilient and HOW to persevere through those undoubtedly dark days. I wrote poems and essays and short stories and shared them only with Matt: there was no one else I could trust with–saddle with, really– what was coming out of my mind and landing on my keyboard and screen. At his suggestion that I try writing a novel, I imagined the trauma I had endured as having happened to someone else, stepped outside of myself, and began to tell 15 year old Ashley Nicole Asher’s story. With her being “born,” so was my life as a professional writer, although I didn’t know it at the time. All I was doing was following the advice of the man I had learned I could trust with my darkness, and he would be by my side, holding the light.
Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt is a unique amalgam of teaching about PTSD and giving insight into the recovery process and the storylines of 7 members of the Thursday Night Therapy Group. Matt E. Jaremko is the inspiration for the Dr. Matt character in my Patience books, and I patterned the experiences of the main character, Ashley, after my own. All these years later, Matt and I teamed up and took those 2 characters, aged Ashley up to 19, and placed Dr. Matt and Ashley in a group therapy setting. Along with Ashley, group members include a survivor of a tornado destroying his mobile home and gravely injuring his toddler daughter; a woman who was behind the wheel, reached for her phone to check a text, and slammed into a semi, killing her husband on impact; a first responder to a mass shooting at a church (timely, sadly); a soldier who was injured when an IED exploded outside his barracks, killing his best friend; an ex-con who is determined to rebuild his life and make a difference; and a survivor of an attempted rape by her brother’s best friend when she was 14–as well as family secrets she has yet to allow herself to process. She attempts to cope with her anguish by numbing herself with food. And, of course, there’s Dr. Matt, an experienced therapist nearing the end of his career and contemplating what’s next.

Please check out the Facebook page Matt created for  our book, and take a look at our website, Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt too! We also have a blog, Hope for Post-traumatic Growth.
I hope you’ll subscribe to our sites & give our FB page a “Like” so that you get the latest news on our book, which is set to release around late Spring/early Summer, 2018.

And-I hope you’ll read the posts Matt has entered on our FB page so far. He has a lot to say, and he is one of the 2 smartest men I know–the other being my husband, Daniel. I owe my life today to Matt and Daniel’s unwavering support, presence, and holding me accountable to not give up.
Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt is one special book, and it holds a hallowed place in my , alongside The Patience Trilogy.

Please follow and like us:

Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt will release in summer, 2018!

I am beyond thrilled to tell you that Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt, a creative non-fiction book written by Dr. Matt E. Jaremko and me, has found a publisher, Ayni Books. Our book should release in early summer, 2018.

The best way to describe it to you is to borrow from our book proposal:

“This book is a starting place for hurting people who are seeking healing, either on their own or in partnership with a therapist or other helping person. Dr. Matt E. Jaremko maximizes readers’ understanding of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) by explaining its origins in easy-to-understand language and offering insight into the process of reclaiming a life from trauma. Beth Fehlbaum shares her insight from the perspective of a person who experienced trauma, was once scared to death about going into therapy, and is now recovered.

Most powerfully, Dr. Jaremko and Beth created characters: a psychologist, Scott “Dr. Matt” Matthews, and his ongoing therapy group, to illustrate how recovery can and does happen. The situations these characters survive; their struggles and triumphs of reclaiming their lives, and their potential for thriving are all realistic. We reassure people who are terrified of trying therapy by providing them with a “fly on the wall” perspective of observing the recovery process.”

Read more about Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt, here.


Those of you who have read (and have affection for) The Patience Trilogy (Courage, Hope, and Truth), likely recognize “Dr. Matt”’s name, and you will be pleased to know that Ashley is in Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt! She’s now 19 and about to leave for college. I hope you’re as pleased with Ash’s progress as I am.

Watch this space for the latest and greatest as we move forward in the publication of a book that Matt and I hope will have a far-reaching positive effect for traumatized individuals by providing a light in the darkness. In other words: hope.

I encourage you to subscribe to our blog site, “Hope for Post-Traumatic Growth,”  and check out our website, Trauma Recovery: Sessions With Dr. Matt, too!

Cheers!
Beth

Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash

P.S. If I could choose an image that conveys how I feel about our book having a release date, it would be this, accompanied by a “Woo-hoo!”

Please follow and like us: